Seventh Week #9 - Test results and preparation for the school trip I can't attend :(

October 20th, 2018

Making friends is still hard for me guys, stay tight. If you have any tips, go ahead (comment section), please.

 Monday (October 15th):

  • At the end of P.E. (I have tennis - I'm bad at tennis [Quick SHOUTOUT to my Grandpa: thanks for trying to teach me a little, I haven't forgotten]) we actually had a "real" match. And although "serving" was difficult for most of us, it was definitely fun!
  • In biology I recognized the ATGC complementary bases ;)
  • I also didn't find the classroom for chemistry, because last week it was a substitute teacher and this week the regular one, but I didn't understand that so I went to library to study instead (too shy and embarrassed to go to the teacher's room and ask ---> weak personality, don't judge); let's hope I'll make it next week.
  • Did go home with the tenth-grader I went to school with once the week before. It's so much easier for me to keep the conversation going with tenth-graders for some reason.

Tuesday (16th):

  • Got my English test back. Shockingly bad. But I don't mind. Apparently it was not clear which multiple-choice box I marked (used a ball pen, made a mistake and wanted to choose another box, but it was not obvious which one was the correct one after that). And the result of the test was a little hard to interpret, but, yeah. Glad I took it :D
  • Also got maths result: 37 points out of 100. There were two parts - 34 out of 60 at the first; 3 out of 40 at the second. Fair enough.
  • In English WWII came up as a topic. And I just wanna state my experience concerning the education: 
    • The Japanese students apparently had covered WWII (only?) in middle school
    • the seemed more unsure and shy than usually
    • they didn't know/weren't sure about when the war started (and ended), but that is probably due to the fact (which I didn't know until then), that
    • they consider the Pacific War (the point when Japan joined the war (?)) the start of WWII (didn't know when Japan joined the war)
    • I noticed I didn't know:
      • how many people died in WWII (found out, it's about 64m)
      • the exact date when the war started and ended (now I only know when it ended: May 8th (Germany), August 15th (Japan)
    • Of course, I as a German with German education, consider the topic very important and know at the least the basic facts about it, but I feel like in Japan it's not that critical? Or maybe the emphasis on what it was and how bad, is not that big
    • My opinion (but I can't be sure, because I do not know how much the Japanese students really know): It's not emphasized enough. ---> But my judgement lacks information, so don't prejudice.
  • I found strawberry-Kitkat; but couldn't buy it because I didn't have that much money with me.

Wednesday (17th):

  • Enjoyed English tenth-graders lesson; said what I would be doing after the exchange (in Japanese not English ;=P); I intend on inviting everyone who wants to to the movies (new Disney movie) ---> wish me good luck and enough self-confidence
  • Had fun at ESS club, playing the "Fruits Basket" game we will play with elementary school kids in a few weeks to practice English :D

Thursday (18th):

  • In English Conversation we read so called ESS (yes, just like the ESS club, but other meaning: Extremely Short Story). Mine was very superficial and made to entertain the masses but didn't at all. The others though, had real good stuff, which was kind of more proof that in the end humans are the same. With feelings, fears, thoughts and desires. There were funny ones and deep ones. One about popcorn, one about how the Japanese are under so much pressure of society's expectations. One about talking about others behind their back. One about how we always say we will do something tomorrow, but then we don't. I wish, mine was good and creative.

Friday (19th):

  • Had Japanese lessons with my Ayusa Area Coordinator. I feel like I'm slightly getting better, but there's so much I haven't learned yet. And studying the theory and using it in real conversation is a big difference and challenge for me.
  • We played hangman at ESS club. Fun! And I draw a legendary picture of kooLcat.
  • Walked to the station with Italian girl (with out "the" because I'm using the expression "Italian girl" like a name from now on [SHOUTOUT to "Canadian Guy" mentioned in the youtube channel "Abroad in Japan"]). I really like her and being with her, because I am able to show my real personality - a weird, sarcastic, stupid-ass freak. I just can't express that version of myself in Japanese or when talking to Japanese in English. I mean like, weird, funny, sarcastic thoughts just don't even come to my mind, when it's in Japanese. Sad life. But sarcasm (or at least, "mean" sarcasm) doesn't work that well in Japan anyway ^^

Saturday (20th):

  • Went to school for preparation for the school trip. Although I, unfortunately can't go anyway, because of Visa or something. (The trip is to Taiwan, which is not Japan, so re-entry to Japan is the problem, I think).
  • For the first time since I'm in Japan, I was on the brink of crying, because I felt so lonely, seeing how everyone had their suitscase ready and I couldn't think of what to say or how to start a (lasting) conversation. And the others were like talking and having conversation, but I felt, there was nothing I could've added. I don't want to force myself into other's conversations. I can't recall ever thinking about how to start a conversation with my already-friends back in Germany. I don't know how I've become so shy, weak, concerned, hesitating, overthinking and uncreative. Are there any exchange students who felt exactly the same and have overcome these feelings and the exchange turned into a better experience? I welcome any advice. [Just want to add, that I'd probably stand not having (m)any friends, but, of course, having friends is one of my priorities] ---> I don't want to offend the people who I hang out with, but we're just not as close as I'd hope yet. But it's still in the process, and I am the one who is in need for friends, so I am to act and work on it.
  • Actually, after feeling like that, I made out with my partner a date and place for when we will hang out together. So that is a big plus and made me feel better.
  • I know making friends is all on me. And I'm probably impairing myself, everytime I choose, not to say something. I feel like the more I talk, the better the relationships will get, but the beginning is mostly awkward and uncomfortable.
  • I've made up my mind to leave it all behind. Because I recalled how limited the time, I have in Japan, is. And how I'd told myself before leaving Germany, that I'll probably not understand a word the first 5 months (which is actually not true, because I understand a bit in group conversation or normal conversation, e.g. lessons and about 40-75% in 1-on-1-conversation; the bigger problem, at least the for me in the first months, is finding friends). BUT: I chose to come here. I will not stay forever. If I want to, I don't have to see any of the people I meet here again, so if it were a bad experience (which it isn't), I could still leave it behind. I want to learn Japanese and the best way is conversation. I want to experience the Japanese life and know more about the culture. I am also actually interested in most other students and want to be friends. So, I will talk as much as I can from now on. About anything. Literally. However stupid it is. Because there's no other way than talking to make people realize that I am a nice, honest, open-minded and - yes! - funny person. I will do my best. [Just want to add, that I've always thought like that, even before leaving Germany, although I hadn't thought making friends would be the biggest problem I'd be having. So, it's not like I didn't know beforehand, that I have to do my best in having conversations and so on. Because that is what exchange is all about. It's obvious] I will invite anyone to hang out with me, because people will not necessarily make the first move. They (as I've mentioned before) don't need new friends, they have plenty. I am the one who needs to be active.
  • Another point about making friends: It's a little difficult for me, because there are many people I'd like to be good friends with, but they are in different groups of friends. So I would have to switch, which is not helping, I guess. So I kind of have to make friends step-by-step, although I'd prefer becoming friends with everyone simlutaneously.
  • Last point on making friends for this week: I am only writing it so detailed, because I'm sure it will improve a lot, and I hope to help other people who might struggle in the future, to overcome this phase and see how I managed it. 
  • Played cards with the hostfam [SHOUTOUT to my beloved Schafskopf-Girlzies-and-Boyz, love and miss you so much <3 srsly, I just wanna play another round with you <3] - fun :D, I even learned one Japanese game and played the Japanese version of a game I know.

Sunday (21th):

  • I can't recall by now (Oct. 28th 2018).